Taylor Swift-Travis Kelce wedding predictions: Who’s in bridal party? First dance song choice?

Taylor Swift is getting married (supposedly). The bard of a generation’s pop romance is saying “I do” (reportedly). The woman who has, self-professedly, “spent my whole life trying to put (love) into words” is tying the knot (allegedly).

Oh, also, Kansas City Chiefs star tight end Travis Kelce will be there.

This is not just a love story, folks. It’s a sports story! And, as we love to do here at The Athletic, we are going to analyze every bit of data we can and make predictions about this wedding.

Swifties are known for digging so deep into Taylor Swift lore looking for clues to the future that they could construct the next great American novel purely based on Easter eggs, shades of fabric, a strand of hair, a footprint in the sand, an eyelash and whispers.

Listen, I could never call myself a full-on Swiftie (I think you must have approximately 2.6 Eras Tour attendances to earn that title), but I have been a listener and lover of her music since I first heard her sing the words “He said the way my blue eyes shined” in 2006. The crime map is on the wall, and we’re making guesses for the big wedding.

All that to say:

Sports fans 🤝 Swifties

Psychotic levels of predictive analysis

So, let’s make some predictions, folks!

Best man

Let’s start with a softball. This one is obvious: It’ll be his podcast co-host and only brother. Easy money.

My pick: Jason Kelce.

Maid of honor

Oop. Immediately went to bicycle-kick levels of complexity with this one. Here are some of the options:

• Abigail Anderson Berard — Swift’s childhood best friend, who features in her song “Fifteen.” Swift was maid of honor at Abigail’s wedding in 2017.
• Selena Gomez — Swift recently attended her bestie Selena’s wedding.
• A Haim sister — Honestly, I do not know them apart, but Este and Alana Haim were at Game 4 of the NBA Finals at none other than Madison Square Garden, the (alleged!) wedding venue. Bachelorette party at the Knicks?
• Gigi Hadid — Another close friend, but I think this is a stretch. A big one. Gigi would make the wedding party in my book, though.
• Kylie Kelce — Jason Kelce’s wife, Travis’ sister-in-law. No offense to anyone, but having your sister-in-law as your maid of honor is insane behavior. You don’t have any of your own friends??? But I could absolutely see Kylie as part of the wedding party.

My pick: It’s Abigail for sure. OR Taylor pulls a plot twist and makes her brother, Austin, her Man of Honor.

First dance

It’s gotta be a Taylor Swift song, right? Let’s assume that and then narrow it down to my top options, based on the popularity of the song and the thematic material (not a breakup song!) plus the importance to Taylor lore. I’d do:

• “Lover” — Very nice waltzy one.
• “Love Story” — Not really a dance song but her most weddingy one.
• “Mary’s Song (Oh My My My)” — A deep cut from her catalogue but a wedding song that features the lyric “I’ll be 87, you’ll be 89.” Travis’ number on the Chiefs is 87.
• “You Are In Love” — This is a personal fave, co-written by Swift and producer Jack Antonoff, about his romance with Lena Dunham

The problem with all of these is that she can’t perform while she dances. Or … she CAN … and probably WOULD … but like … really?

So, predictions if it’s not a Taylor song:

• “Perfect” or “Thinking Out Loud” by her bestie Ed Sheeran.
• A Haim sister covers “The Way You Look Tonight” or another wedding classic.

My actual pick (swerving here!): “Landslide” by Stevie Nicks, performed by Stevie Nicks. Nicks is reportedly going to be in the room, and Swift is a huge fan. If we’re going with Easter eggs, Swift wore a “Stevie Knicks” T-shirt to the NBA Finals game … at MSG …

Wedding party

Oh, just a who’s who of the sports and celebrity world! Here are my picks:

Travis’ wedding party:

• Jason Kelce
• Aric Jones (Kelce’s lifelong best friend)
• Austin Swift (Taylor’s brother, who might be in her party)
• Kumar Ferguson (Travis’ personal chef and childhood best friend)
• Patrick Mahomes
• Other Chiefs players?

Taylor’s wedding party:

• The aforementioned Abigail
• Selena Gomez
• Between 1-3 Haim sisters
• Gigi Hadid
• Austin Swift (her brother)
• NOT Blake Lively?

Wedding table of Travis’ favorite teammates

Now here’s where we want commenters to add thoughts, too! (I mean, add anywhere, but this one’s fun.) Here’s my list:

• Andy Reid
• Patrick Mahomes
• Ross Travis (former Chiefs tight end)
• Noah Gray (fellow tight end)

Will the flowers be Chiefs colors?

I absolutely hope not! Taylor Alison Swift, pop star, billionaire, fairy tale officionado, is not about to have a McDonald’s wedding. I’m guessing she’ll go with more pastels and sparkles and ethereal fairytale colors. Please don’t be red and yellow.

Wedding menu

Bonus guess from NBA Senior Editor Lindsey Wisniewski: They are definitely having Blank (Steak), (Corn)elia Street, (Wildest) greens and Lavender Haze lemonade at this party.

Over or under on best speech time

I imagine the best speech will come from Taylor herself. And the second-best speech will come from best man Jason Kelce. How long will they go? Here’s where I’m setting the over/under:

• Taylor’s speech: Over/under 7.5 minutes (I pick the over)
• Jason’s speech: Over/under 5.5 minutes (I pick the under)

Bonus: Ring delivery system

This one I’m throwing in here just because I would really love for Mahomes to throw the rings down the aisle tied to a football in a perfect spiral.

Cheers!