When the final whistle blows: Why life after sports can be an athlete’s toughest test

OKLAHOMA CITY, Okla. (KOKH) — For many of the world’s biggest soccer stars, this year’s FIFA World Cup could be the final chapter of their playing careers.

While fans focus on goals, championships, and lifting the trophy, sports psychologists say one of the biggest challenges often begins after the final whistle, when athletes are forced to answer a question they’ve spent decades avoiding: Who am I without my sport?

Every athlete eventually plays their last game. Some know it’s coming. Others never see it. But regardless of how it ends, leaving behind the sport that has defined much of their life can be one of the most difficult transitions they ever face.

Dr. Cody Commander, a sports psychologist who previously spent 12 years working with University of Oklahoma Athletics and later served as the mental health officer for the Tokyo Olympics, said elite athletes often begin building their identity around sports at a young age.

“Most of these elite athletes started playing sports when they were young,” Commander said. “They’ve spent so many hours doing this. They’ve sacrificed a lot. That kind of fosters an athletic identity for them. That’s good when you’re playing. It can become detrimental when you stop playing.”

Former Nigerian World Cup player Courtney Dike understands that struggle firsthand.

Stepping away from professional soccer wasn’t easy, she said, even though she knew it was the right decision. At the time, professional opportunities in women’s soccer were far different than they are today. She ultimately chose to prioritize building a career outside the game.

“It was a really tough decision,” Dike said.

Commander said athletes don’t simply lose competition when they retire. They lose the structure that has organized nearly every day of their lives.

“They’ve oftentimes neglected other parts of development, social life, sometimes academics, sometimes other jobs, careers and sometimes family planning as well,” Commander said. “So they’ve sacrificed a lot.”

Practices, workouts, meetings, recovery sessions and games often dictate an athlete’s schedule for years. When that routine suddenly disappears, many are left trying to rediscover themselves.

“A lot of athletes lose their identity after sports,” Dike said.

Commander doesn’t think that’s an exaggeration.

When asked why walking away from a sport can feel like losing a part of yourself, his response was immediate.

“Because you are,” he said.

“They have to figure out ‘who am I’ after the sport.”

The transition can be especially difficult because retirement doesn’t always happen on an athlete’s terms.

Some spend years preparing for the end of their careers. Others see those plans change in an instant because of an injury or another unexpected event.

Commander said the emotional impact often comes down to the gap between what an athlete expected and what actually happened.

“The bigger the gap between their expectations and reality, the more significant emotional stress they’re likely to have,” he said.

He said athletes who adjust most successfully usually begin preparing long before they play their final game.

This preparation starts with thinking about what he calls “life 2.0,” finding another purpose that can replace the passion once poured into competition.

Some become coaches or broadcasters. Others mentor younger athletes or pursue careers completely outside of sports.

“The most successful ones are the ones that can transition that focus to something else,” Commander said. “They redirect that passion.”

Commander also encourages athletes to establish relationships with sports psychologists or other mental health professionals before retirement, just as they would work with trainers to prevent physical injuries.

He believes the lessons athletes learn about handling pressure can benefit everyone, not just people competing on the world’s biggest stages.

“I think what we can learn is we all experience pressure in anything that we have to perform at,” Commander said. “Whether that’s work, whether that’s parenting.”

Professional athletes spend years learning how to focus on what they can control, manage negative self-talk and separate their self-worth from daily results. Commander said those same skills can help anyone navigating major life changes.

As another World Cup introduces millions of young fans to soccer’s biggest stars, it also serves as a reminder that every career, no matter how legendary, eventually comes to an end.

For many athletes, the hardest challenge isn’t playing one last game. It’s figuring out who they are when the game is over.